


Meet Me in That Place Just For Us

by Shoumai



Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion
Genre: Alternate Universe, Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, F/M, Kaworu is pretty and Shinji doesn't know how to handle it, M/M, Shinji is a pen-Cinderella, because i wanted one, dramatic rain scene, mentions of poet!Shinji
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-12
Updated: 2019-01-12
Packaged: 2019-10-08 16:11:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17389553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shoumai/pseuds/Shoumai
Summary: Shinji wondered about the boy he saw playing viola in the abandoned park after school. Who he was, why he came there, and why his music spoke to Shinji so deeply.





	Meet Me in That Place Just For Us

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be a short, drabble-type thing, I had two scenes planned out. Getting those scenes to fit together turned it into this. Anyway I am very pleased with it and I hope you enjoy. Also, on Touji's nickname for Shinji, I could be wrong but I remember him calling Shinji 'sensei' at one point and decided to use it.
> 
>  
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't know Neon Genesis Evangelion

There was really nothing special about it. There used to be a park there, long before Shinji's time. Now all that remained was cracked and broken concrete, a rusted old swing set, and a jungle gym overgrown with vines. A forgotten place, the sort no one talked about or cared about. Shinji only knew of it because he passed it almost every day.

It wasn't special. Which made Shinji wonder just why the other boy had chosen it.

He had seen him one day on his walk home from school. The boy looked to be about Shinji's age and pale, in a school uniform Shinji didn't recognize. 

He was standing in the abandoned playground by himself with his eyes shut while he played the viola that he held like an old friend. Sunlight haloed his hair and made his gracefulness look ethereal. He didn't open his eyes as he played.

The song was sad and longing and Shinji let it wash over him as he stood there watching. There was beauty there that pulled emotions from deep in his chest and clogged up his throat so he couldn't name them.

It was when the pale teen paused in his piece that Shinji realized he had been staring. Heat filled his face as his stomach lurched. He didn't have any explanation if the other boy opened his eyes right now. The sense that he was intruding closed in on the brunet's chest. In the next moment he was sprinting back to his apartment while his pulse hammered. 

Despite the flood of shame and embarrassment, Shinji couldn't stop thinking about it. The boy was there most days, playing serenely by himself and Shinji was building a collection of stolen moments and questions as his SDAT sat unused in his pocket.

What was his name? Why did he play there? The park was just some forgotten land left to overgrowth and rust. Maybe he liked the privacy of it or maybe it was just close to his school. It had to be close, with the boy still in his uniform and Shinji spying him on his own walk home. But which school was that?

He almost asked, spending the whole walk gathering the nerve only to swallow all of his questions right back down as soon as the music reached his ears. Interrupting would have been a crime, Shinji reasoned with himself. Just the thought of his clumsy, untuned voice breaking through the bittersweet melancholy of the viola made him want to cringe. 

Besides the boy might really have wanted to be alone. He might have gotten mad at Shinji for interrupting, found his questions annoying, or worse - stopped coming to play there altogether.

Shinji didn't want that. He didn't want the boy to leave or to never hear his music again. Shinji knew the feelings of it even if he didn't know the song. It moved him, spoke to him in a way he couldn't remember anything else ever doing. He was afraid to lose it and unwilling to give it up even if it meant spying on moments not meant for him like some strange voyeur watching the baring of a human soul.

.....

Shinji's apartment was as bland and uninteresting as Shinji himself. Which was fine. He didn't need much and only had guests over once for a group project. Asuka had gone through the main rooms like a red-headed hurricane of ruthless efficiency, laying out every fault and short coming of the space like it had caused her some deep personal insult. Shinji remember the sympathetic look Kensuke gave him as they listened to the tirade while letting all of the protests he might have made die and rot on his tongue. It was easier that way and Shinji found life its most bearable when he kept his head down and stumbled along the path of least resistance. 

Least resistance this Sunday would have been homework, cleaning and organizing his meager living space, and trying to force himself to put in the effort to make something to eat by early evening. In the end he got as far as making sure his school bag was packed and holding a broom limply in his hand while staring tiredly out the window. 

Did the boy practice at the park on the weekends? It might have been too far for him to bother with but maybe it wasn't. Shinji looked over at the kitchen sink. He was almost out of dish soap.

......

It wasn't very difficult for Shinji to pass the park on his way back from the store, shopping bag in hand. In truth the park seemed to be closer to his building than it was to anything else.

The boy was there again today, for once in casual clothes, playing his viola like always. 

Shinji stood still, in the spot that he always seemed to stop at these days, and watched. The music floated through the air unseen, soaking into Shinji's veins and thrumming along with his blood as he stood spellbound. 

The boy's pale fingers moved with a practiced ease along the neck of the instrument. There wasn't even the faintest indication on his face that he was anything but relaxed.

Shinji didn't want to move. He was suddenly envious of the weeds. It would have been so nice to be able to sprout roots in what had become his designated spot. Then he could stay there forever, listening and watching unobtrusively.

Shinji truly would have been content with everything staying just like that. But today something different happened. 

Without warning the boy stopped playing and opened his eyes. They were red, bright and calm, and looking right at Shinji.

The brunet started at being caught. "Ah - I'm sorry! I didn't mean to intrude." The feeling of solemn peace was replaced with a blind panic. He had gone and ruined it. Somehow Shinji had messed even this up. 

But instead of getting angry the pale boy just smiled. "You aren't intruding. Music is better when it's shared." He set his bow down in its' case to extend a hand. "You can listen better from over here."

The pull was like the moon on the tide and Shinji would not have been able to refuse even if he had had the ability to think just then.

The rusted chains of the swing set creaked under Shinji's weight as he sat down, feelings rattling and fizzing around in his chest like scattered leaves and soda bubbles. "Um, are you sure you don't mind? I mean, I thought you came here for the privacy."

"I come here because I like the feel of it, the history." The boy replied. "This place used to be full of children playing, families together, couples on walks, so many memories must have been made here."

Shinji nodded drawn in to the eloquence of the boy's words. If he had been alone with his beaten-up notebook he might have tried to express the idea of memories giving way to rust and fertilizing weeds and wildflowers but he was bad with his attempts at poetics and there was no way he was saying any of it. "It's sad." He settled for instead. "But beautiful, in a forgotten way." It felt silly as soon as it was out of his mouth but his companion validated him with a smile.

"Nagisa Kaworu. And I do come here for one more reason."

Shinji blinked, thrown for a second. "Oh, I'm Ikari Shinji. Why else do you come here Nagisa?" He asked, feeling brave.

"Just 'Kaworu' is fine. I come here because it seems like a good place to wait." Kaworu explained, turning to look at Shinji again after he retrieved his bow.

The familiarity that Shinji was being given warmed his insides and he was eager to return it. "'Shinji' is good for me, too." He didn't want to pry, but curiosity prickled across his tongue and the acceptance in Kaworu's smile made him brave. Like he could say anything and it would be alright. "You're waiting for someone?"

Kaworu hummed an affirmative. "I don't know who it is though. Do you come here often, Shinji?" 

The brunet wanted to glance away at being caught but he couldn't. Those kind, red eyes held him still and passed no judgments. "Yeah, I live pretty close to here." 

"That must be nice. I have to talk the train to get here." Kaworu's question did little to distract from the strangeness of his own answer. 

"You don't know who you're waiting for?"

Kaworu didn't seem to mind the question at all. "Yes. I can feel it in my heart. An ache, a loneliness, and an anticipation. But I don't know who it's for yet."

The other boy's words resonated with Shinji. He remembered the feeling of being small, alone, and upset; waiting for the ones he loved that were supposed to love him. If he was honest with himself he still felt small and alone. But he wasn't waiting anymore. Shinji had accepted years ago that the people he had waited for weren't coming back. "I think I understand." He offered simply. Then. hesitating, asked "don't you ever get tired of waiting?"

Kaworu's gaze held nothingbut warmth for Shinji's words. "I don't mind it." The pale boy lovingly tucked his viola under his chin. "What would you like to hear?" He asked in a way that was as sweet as the overgrown blooms peeking through the cracks in the concrete.

Shinji's cheeks went a light pink and he awkwardly scuffed his shoe over the sandy patch beneath him. "Anything is fine." He said, both pleased and flustered that Kaworu was playing especially for him.

Kaworu smiled and touched the now to the strings, letting the viola start its sweet, sad song over again.

......

The sky was a sea of orange streaked with pink and dappled by lavender by the time they finished. 

The chill in the air caused goosebumps to flare up where it brushed over Shinji's skin but he didn't want to leave yet. His brain searched itself for excuses to linger in this space with Kaworu here. "Thank for today. I had fun."

"So did I." Kaworu agreed, carefully tucking his instrument away into its case.

"Will you be staying much longer?" Shinji asked as he squeezed the handles of his all but forgotten shopping bag in his grip.

"Not today." Kaworu replied, rummaging around in his bag. "Shinji, before you go-"

"Huh?"

Kaworu turned back around to face Shinji. "Is this yours?" In his hand he was holding out a pen. It wasn't anything special; just a cheap, well-used ballpoint with an ink cartridge that was over half empty.

Shinji did recognize it, though. He knew that it probably spent more time in his pocket or tucked behind his ear than it did in his hand, he knew that more ink had been spent scratching out misspelled characters and wrong words than writing anything of value. "I didn't realize I had dropped it..." Shinji admitted in embarrassment, he hadn't tried to write anything with it in awhile and had even noticed its absence.

"I found it on the path a little while ago. It sounded like you were in a hurry." Kaworu opened his outstretched hand, offering the pen back.

A new wave of self consciousness washed over Shinji as he realized when he must have dropped it. He reached to take it, but instead closed Kaworu's fingers back around the pen. "No, keep it." Kaworu's skin was warm and soft against Shinji's hand, a pleasant jolt ran up his arm at the contact.

Red eyes blinked, Kaworu's expression becoming confused. "Are you sure?" He asked uncertainly, not pulling away from their shared contact.

Shinji nodded. "Please, I think you should have it." He couldn't explain why but he wanted the other boy to hand onto it. It felt better, this way. Like it had more value with Kaworu than it did with him. Or maybe he just wanted Kaworu to hold onto some part of him. 

Kaworu slowly brought his hand back, his grip on the pen careful but firm. "I'll take good care of it, thank you." His lips curved into a soft smile. "I hope to see you again, Shinji."

The brunet was grateful for the cool air soothing some of the blush on his cheeks. "Yeah, me too."

Music and the sound of Kaworu's voice followed Shinji on his walk home. He was warm and full inside in ways he couldn't ever remember being. 

It made the inside of his dull little apartment look especially blank and empty. The 'click' of the lock turning reverberated like a gunshot in the silence. It was an oppressive quiet, unwelcome after all the music and conversation from earlier. 

Shinji set the bag down by the door, he could put it away later, toed off his shoes and walked into his bedroom.

His cello case was where he had left it. Well cared for but also unused in recent memory. Shinji turned his chair away from his desk, took the cello out of its case, and played to fill the silence. 

.......

Kaworu continued to play at the abandoned park after school every say, but now instead of watching silently from a distance Shinji came to sit with him and talk. 

Kaworu was amazing. He knew things from science to literature to philosophy and talked about all of it poetically. He was elegant and talented and all of the things Shinji wasn't and couldn't help but admire him for.

Kaworu didn't talk about school or home very much, his parents worked over seas and (to Shinji's utter confusion) He didn't have any close friends at his school. But that was just another thing that made Kaworu easier to talk to, knowing that he understood.

Shinji started packing an extra lunch for when they met after school, and brought his cello to play on the weekends. He never asked if Kaworu had met the person he was waiting for yet, in truth he wasn't sure he wanted to know. What was Kaworu going to do when he did meet them? Would he stop coming to the park? Or would he introduce them? Either thought; an empty park after school or Kaworu smiling and holding someone else's hand made Shinji anxious and sick.

He berated himself for being selfish every time the feelings crept in. Kaworu was beautiful and wonderful and he had every right to someone just as perfect as he was. He deserved better than the ugliness Shinji carried around inside of himself, that he let slip out of him like tar to fill in the cracks and smother the weeds. 

And even when it happened, when he talked about his father, his school that he couldn't fit into, his bad poems in his beaten notebook, or his cold and blank apartment Kaworu never got upset with him. He always listened so intently and then said just the right things at just the right moments. 

"Shinji, are you alright?"

"Huh?" Shinji blinked, realizing he had been lost in the gracefulness of Kaworu's posture again and flushed. "I'm f-fine." He said, stumbling a bit at getting caught.

The pale boy frowned softly, little worry wrinkles forming between his eyebrows. Distantly Shinji noted that Kaworu even made wrinkles look beautiful. "You've been spaced out and very flushed. If you're sick you should have gone home and rested."

Shinji raised his hands, trying to stop the other boy before he sent Shinji home. "I'm really not sick, and even if I was it would be mean to just go home and not say anything. I was just thinking." The words all tumbled out in a rush without time or ability to police them or know when to stop.

The worry lines in Kaworu's face receded but that gentle frown stayed a moment longer. "Your health is important to me. I would have waited until you got better and came back." The serious matter addressed his expression became curious. "What were thinking about?"

_'How you have eyes like a sunset and hair like starlight.'_ "The stars!" Shinji blurted out. "I was thinking we could watch the stars together!"

Kaworu blinked. "Tonight?" He asked, like the sudden proposal wasn't strange and instead totally acceptable.

All the same Shinji shook his head. "Tomorrow, when there aren't classes in the morning. You could stay the rest of the night with me so you won't have to worry about your train." His heart pounded in his chest and his face was getting red again. He was taking a leap and it was terrifying but he wanted Kaworu to say 'yes' so badly. 

The silver haired boy nodded with a small smile. "I'd like that very much."

The relief was euphoric, drowning over every other sensation. Shinji couldn't feel the asphalt they were sitting on or the air in his own lungs. The whole world had shrunk down to Kaworu and his smile.

"Shinji?" Kaworu asked as they were ready to leave.

The blue eyed boy turned around. "Yes?" 

A strange expression passed over Kaworu's face, one Shinji hadn't seen before. In a blink it was gone and alabaster lips were smiling tenderly. "Sleep well, I'll see you tomorrow." 

Shinji's insides fizzed like warm champagne bubbles. "You too, Kaworu." 

Walking home that night was a strange sensation when Shinji was so sure sure that he should have been flying. 

 

........

the next morning brought rain. The sky was a heavy sheet of water that nearly made Shinji late for school.

Class was impossible to focus on because of it. Would Kaworu even come today?

Shinji's gaze stayed fixed out the window, like the force of his stare could make the clouds disperse.

"Oi Sensei, what has you so depressed?" Touji asked, sitting backwards in his chair to look at him.

Before Shinji could answer Kensuke spoke up. "He's probably worried that he won't see her today." He said with a teasing grin.

Now Shinji was confused. "'Her'?"

Kensuke's grin widened. "The girl you keep making lunches for. Don't think we haven't noticed." 

Touji crossed his arms over his chest and nodded seriously. 

Shinji's cheeks colored. "It's not-"

Touji interrupted him. "Take it from the expert. If Hikari has taught me anything it's that she would wait for me. And as a real man I won't let a little rain stop me from getting to her side!" He declared, striking a pose that was his usual brand of over dramatics. 

Normally Shinji would have rolled his eyes or been flustered by his friend's antics but today he latched onto one word from the monologue. "'Wait'?" He said more to himself.

"That's right. A beautiful and steadfast girl-"

But Shinji wasn't listening. His mind was full of memories. The look one Kaworu's face seconds before he had said goodbye yesterday. How he had hesitated.

_"I would have waited until you got better."_

Shinji sprung up from his chair, mind sharp and clear with what he had missed.

Kensuke leaned back confused as Shinji seized his bag. "Ikari?"

"I have to go!" Shinji blurted out, limbs shaky and light, springing from his desk to the door amid the confused stares.

"But it's just the free period..." 

"It doesn't matter, he's waiting for me!" Shinji called back before running down the hall.

Touji and Kensuke shared a long look of confusion. "'He'?!?!"

.......

The wind turned Shinji's umbrella inside out halfway to the park but he didn't care, pitching it in a trashcan as he ran past. He could barely feel the sidewalk beneath his pounding steps or the rain soaking his skin. Kaworu was waiting for him. That was the only thought in Shinji's head. He had been waiting for so long, everyday. He had been waiting for Shinji and Shinji had been absolutely clueless. He almost tripped turning the corner but recovered swiftly as he made his was to the abandoned playground. He skidded to a halt and looked around. 

It was empty.

Shinji was shaking. He was cold and wet, his chest heaving to catch his breath as it fogged in front of him. His blue eyes darted around; trying to catch sight of the other boy, convinced he had taken shelter somewhere.

"Shinji? Are you okay?" said a familiar voice from behind him, laced with concern. 

Shinji spun around to look at a startled Kaworu under a black umbrella. He didn't even stop to think before launching himself into the other's arms.

Kaworu moved to rest a hand on his shoulder. "Shinji?" He tried again. "You're soaked."

The brunet shook his head. "It's fine, I'm an idiot." He said as he gripped Kaworu's shirt tightly.

"You're going to get sick." Kaworu said gently, trying to brush Shinji's wet bangs out of his face as he maneuvered the umbrella to cover them both.

Shinji finally moved to meet Kaworu's eyes. "It doesn't matter. I'm here now and I'm not going to make you wait for me anymore. I should have noticed it when you tried to tell me yesterday. No - I should have noticed it weeks ago." His heart was racing like he had run here all over again but he couldn't stop the words running out of his mouth as he looked at those surprised red eyes. "You've been waiting for me all this time and I was waiting for you too but I didn't know it."

They weren't the right words for a love confession but the softening of Kaworu's expression showed that he understood them anyway. He leaned in to press his mouth to Shinji's lightly in spite of all of the desperation.

A sharp sense of heat sparked across Shinji's nerves. The warmth of the mouth pressed to his chased out the cold seeping into his skin and he clung to the teen in front of him as tightly as he could manage. 

"We should get inside." Kaworu said kindly, stroking one of Shinji's wet cheeks and kissing his forehead.

Shinji flushed deeply, embarrassed by his own outburst. "Um, yeah. We should talk... inside..." He reached up for Kaworu's hand, their fingers tangling together in a way that felt natural.

Huddled close under the umbrella, Shinji led the way to his apartment. "I guess we'll have to watch the stars another night."

Kaworu smiled, squeezing Shinji's hand a little. "That's okay. I'm happy as long as I'm with you."


End file.
